Moments
by bookgirl318
Summary: A collection of one shots based on different moments in the story that is Katniss and Peeta.
1. I Can't Make You Love Me

**A story about the night before the Quarter Quell from Peeta's point of view**

**The songfic one shot this is based from is I Can't Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt (or Bon Iver)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games or I Can't Make You Love Me**

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

We have just completed the interviews. If I thought I had shocked them last time with my declaration of love for Katniss, boy did I outdo myself this go around. I have just told the entire country that this girl beside me and I were secretly married, and that she is pregnant. It had put the entire audience into pandemonium. They are so in love with us that the thought of sending the star-crossed lover back into the arena has caused a serious disruption. All of the victors took the energy and for once raised hands together in a moment of brotherhood. _Take that President Snow. _If my fiancée can fuel a rebellion with her bow and arrow, I can do it with my words.

_Katniss, my fiancée._ Using that term to identify her still stings. To get what I wanted my whole life, but with a catch. It's all just a show. Every day that passes I have to remind myself that she doesn't love me. And tomorrow, we are heading back into the arena. This time, there is no way that both of us will be coming home. One of us will have to die, and I am going to make sure that it is me. Whether she loves me or not doesn't matter. I love her more than my life, and I am more than ready to give it up if it means that she will live.

I take a look at Katniss standing next to me. She doesn't seem like she is upset by my announcement. In fact, I would have to say that she actually seems pleased. I guess it gives her a kind of satisfaction and freedom, knowing what a stir I've caused.

As we get off the elevator I have to quickly make sure she is okay before the others arrive. I take her by the shoulders and turn her towards me.

"There isn't much time, so tell me. Is there anything I have to apologize for?" I ask seriously.

Those grey eyes sparkle at me as Katniss smiles. "It was risky for you to do that wihtout telling me, but it was good. Really." I breathe a sigh of relief.

Haymitch comes in then, and tells us what an uproar is going on outside. We go to the windows to see and watch the near rioting in the streets, but come to the conclusion that even so, the Games won't be cancelled. I also have a sneaking feeling that the solidarity amongst the victors tonight will be short lived.

We say our goodbyes to our mentor, who continues to advise us to "Stay alive." He knows my plan, and said that he would help me make sure Katniss wins. The drunk says some private words to Katniss about remembering _who the enemy is_, but I am not sure what he means by that. Haymitch finally winks at me when he turns to leave, and I take that as a sign he plans to keep his promise.

Once we are alone, the two of us then walk down the hallway towards our rooms. I reach my door and am about to turn and go in, but for some reason Katniss won't let me go.

"If you go in there, they might lock the door and you won't be able to get out," she says.

"I need to shower," I argue. "I have to get this makeup off." They've put the stuff on me for all of the TV interviews, but I can't stand to leave it on for too long.

"You can clean up in my shower," she offers. "Please, Peeta. Stay with me." Her eyes are staring directly into mine and pleading. This usually fearless girl is truly afraid she could be left alone tonight. I can't deny her.

We walk farther down the hallway to Katniss' room and go in. I let her wash up first, and she only takes a few minutes. I have already gotten my jacket and shoes off when she comes out of the bathroom wearing one of the comfortable night outfits Katniss usually wears to sleep. Her dark hair is down from its braid into soft waves, and I can smell the strawberries that must have been in the shampoo she used.

"Your turn," Katniss states quietly. I nod and head into the bathroom myself. I find the shower and see that it is just like the one in my own quarters. I quickly manage to wash all of the work my prep team had done off my face. The hot water feels good on my muscles and I can at least feel some of the tension go away. Some…but not all.

When I finish, I put my pants and my undershirt back on, as Katniss wouldn't let me get my own sleepwear, and there is nothing in here for me to sleep in. I walk back out to see that she has already pulled the covers down on the bed and the lights have been dimmed.

_**Turn down the lights, turn down the bed  
Turn down these voices inside my head **_

My mind is so full tonight, not only with everything that had happened in the past few days, but all that lay ahead in the arena, as well. My thoughts constantly remind me that I have to keep to the plan. My selfish side tries to argue that I should try and save myself. This is pointless, of course. I know what I have to do. I wish I could shut my mind off and sleep, but I know that is probably not going to happen, especially with the girl of my dreams in the same bed.

I walk over to the large comfortable bed and sit on it. Katniss is putting the bedspread over a chair and turns back around to look at me. I pat the empty space beside me and she comes over and gets in under the covers.

_**Lay down with me, tell me no lies  
Just hold me close, don't patronize Don't patronize me**_

Instinctively, she inches over to my side and comes into my waiting embrace. It doesn't take long before her own arms are around me and our legs are entangled together. Neither of us is attempting to sleep. We just lay there with eyes open, just looking at each other but not speaking. I could stay like this forever with her just holding onto me. It feels so good, but I also know the truth.

"I just need you to be close tonight," Katniss breaks the silence with her quiet statement. "I don't think I can sleep, and I'm not really sure I want to anyway."

"The nightmares." I reply in understanding. I don't want to face them either.

"I know they'll be bad," she continues. "I know I need to sleep to be fresh tomorrow, and I can't do that without you. You're the only one who can keep them away."

That's right. I seem to be the only one who can help soothe her during her night terrors. But that's all she wants from me. Nothing more. No matter how much I have dreamed when it came to Katniss, this is all I will get. And tomorrow, I will begin the plan that will end in my death. I haven't been able to bring my dreams into reality before, and now I am out of time. Who was I to think that she could ever really be mine? That's not what Katniss was ever looking for.

_**Cause I can't make you love me if you don't  
You can't make your heart feel something it won't**_

I naively once thought long ago that if I actually talked to Katniss she would finally notice me. Once I got in, then I could finally tell her everything that I felt for her. I knew she would love me if only I had the chance.

Little did I know that the first time I would have a conversation with her would be on the train as tributes in the Hunger Games. Not necessarily the best situation to get to know someone for the first time. I came up with the idea of the staged romance, even though for me everything was true.

I kind of hoped that through us having to pretend, that just maybe it could become real somehow. I was wrong. I tricked myself into believing Katniss in the cave. I thought all of the glances, the loving words and kisses had something behind them. But, on the train home I learned that it was all for the cameras. That lesson still hurt even now. Since then we've managed to put together a kind of basic friendship, but it's so hard when you want more.

There have been a few moments where I thought that maybe she really does have feelings for me, like yesterday spending time on the roof. But reality always has come crashing down. Katniss needs comfort, and I'm the only one here. All I really have are these times in the middle of the night when she has relied on me to sleep. And here we are for what will probably be the last time like this.

_**Here in the dark, in these final hours  
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power**_

Knowing this is more than likely my final night with her alone, I decide to lay it all out there. Say to her the one thing I need to before I begin to let this dark haired beauty go.

Katniss is still staring into my eyes as I kiss her forehead. "I love you," I finally tell her. "I just wanted to say it before…" My sentence trail off. Just saying the words takes a load off of my chest. At least she will know the truth when I am gone.

I think that I might some kind of loving reply from her, but this is Katniss. She has difficulty putting her emotions into words. Also, she is stubborn, and I am sure she has some foolish plan of her own to try and save me in the Games. _Good luck with that. _

She sighs heavily and finally says, "Peeta, we'll be okay. We always look out for each other right? We just have to stay together, and I'll get you home."

I let out a huff in frustration at her determination to die out there for me. "Why would you do that?" I ask honestly. "You should be the one to go home to your family."

"You're such a good person. Out of all of us, you are the one who truly deserves to live." Once again, there is no feeling of real love there for me. It's just a belief that I am the better person. That is ridiculous. Katniss has sacrificed so much in her life. Her family needs her. I decide not to reply and let the silence hang on.

_**But you won't, no you won't  
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't**_

Time passes, and after a while, I see Katniss' eyes finally close as sleep finally overtakes her. The fear is still out there inside of us, so I try to take this peaceful time to try and rest myself in hopes that I won't have to think about the situation anymore.

_**I'll close my eyes, then I won't see  
The love you don't feel when you're holding me**_

In these short moments of troubled sleep, I still dream of her, and of what the future could be. I see her in the woods with Gale, smiling with beautiful dark haired children around her. She looks at them all so lovingly. I know she could be happy if only she would allow it. She would be an amazing mother. This is what my plan is about…her future. I am going to die in the arena so that she can live her life with Hawthorne.

I have seen him around Katniss and can tell that he loves her. He would make sure to take care of her. I know she has feelings for him too, even if she is confused about them for now. The two of them are so alike and easy together.

Katniss needs to win so that she can go home to the life she could have. I have to convince her of this by using her feelings for the tall hunter, Mrs. Everdeen, and Prim. I have to build that fire within her that wants to survive. Right now her whole agenda is to protect me. I can't let that happen.

I've already got the locket that I am going to give Katniss as a reminder of what she has at home to live for. I gave Portia instructions to put it as my token to wear inside the arena. I retrieved a picture from Mrs. Everdeen of her and Prim, and Mrs. Hawthorne was able to find a photograph of Gale. She was extremely surprised that I would want one at first, but happy to oblige once I told her it would be for Katniss.

The two images are inside the locket, and I will give it to her in the arena when the time is right. Katniss has to realize what she is giving up if she dies. They are depending on her. My situation is different. Nobody would care if I was gone. My family and few friends would be sad but make it through soon enough. No one truly needs me. Katniss has become my whole life, even if only for a short time. Every moment counts. All I have is right now, this night, but only until the morning when I will have to leave her.

_**Morning will come and I'll do what's right  
Just give me till then to give up this fight  
And I will give up this fight**_

When dawn approaches and I can see the sun trying to break through the windows, the door opens and Cinna and Portia are there. They don't seem shocked to see us together like this, but I notice a look of sadness come across their faces. The stylists care about us, I know, but they have to do their job.

I take a quick glance at Katniss. She is still wrapped around me, but now wide awake. She is looking directly at me. From the expression in her eyes I can tell she obviously doesn't want me to go. But I have to. I have no choice. If my plan is going to work, I have to let her go, starting now. I place a soft kiss on her lips.

"See you soon." I tell her. It's the best I can offer.

"See you soon," she replies. With that I get up and out of the bed. I pick up the clothes that have been lying on the chair all night to take them back with me. I then see Cinna walking towards Katniss, and her attention shifts to him and his instructions. She is focused now, which is what she needs to be. All my dreams of her and what could be flash in my mind. But, this was never a place for romance, only hunger and death. Who was I to think any different just because I fell in love with this girl at the age of five? The fates obviously had had another plan, and it didn't include love.

_**Cause I can't make you love me if you don't  
You can't make your heart feel something it won't  
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours  
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power  
But you won't, no you won't  
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't**_

As I walk out of the room to be prepped for the arena, I decide that at this point, it really doesn't matter if Katniss loves me now. What matters is that I make her want to live. Keeping her safe is the most important thing.

With a clear purpose ahead, I look back one last time at this girl of my dreams, and try to retain her beautiful face in my mind for the battle ahead.

**So, there it is! Thank you so much for reading. I hope I did the moment some justice. Please, please review! They are absolute love to the writer. I love to hear any and all comments.**


	2. The Following Morning

**A story about the morning after the night of "Real or Not Real"**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games Characters**

**The Following Morning**

_So after, when he whispers, "You love me, real or not real."_

_I tell him, "Real."_

Peeta smiles at me and silently wraps me into his arms. We lie there with limbs entangled so much that we don't know where one of us ends and the other begins. There are no words, but only soft kisses as we both drift off into dreamless peaceful sleep.

The sun hits my eyes and they open suddenly from the sudden blast. My vision adjusts and after a moment I finally take in my surroundings. I am lying in my bed literally wrapped around Peeta. Two facts about us immediately come to mind. One, I am wearing practically no clothing, and two, neither is he. I turn beet red at this realization, and then an even more important piece of information hits me. _We made love last night._

It hadn't been planned, but had just…happened. _Is that the way it's supposed to be your first time?_ I mean, we had been growing closer over the past weeks and months after he had returned to District 12. We were sleeping together again to ward off the nightmares, and a month or so ago had begun kissing. But, I didn't think we had been anywhere close to doing what we did. We haven't even discussed that aspect of our relationship.

It had all just come about so naturally. We were kissing as we always did, and it intensified until I felt the hunger that I had on the beach. I realized that I needed Peeta, that I loved him, wanted him. As it did then, the hunger began to consume me_, _and I guess it did Peeta too, because eventually I found him on top of me. We both became so lost in each other that the next step just seemed the right thing to do. So, with my permission, we became one.

The memories of the night before are still fresh, as I notice that a pair of eyes looking straight into mine. Peeta was awake. I should have known he would be, as he keeps early hours being a baker. He gives a small smile, and brushes a strand of my hair away.

"Good morning," he says softly.

"Good morning," I reply. "How are you?"

"Great. I woke up with you in my arms. Best way to start the morning." He must have seen the hesitant look in my eyes because he becomes concerned and immediately asks. "Are you having regrets about what happened?"

I have to think about my words carefully here. How do I let him know what I am feeling without making him think that last night was wrong. I don't regret making love with him. It was wonderful. I'm just waking up wondering, though, what this means for us. How will this change us and our relationship as it has been? What does Peeta expect now?

"No, Peeta." I say firmly. "I don't regret what happened last night. I meant what I said."

"OK," he lets out a breath of relief. "I saw that look of fear in your eyes and thought that you might have decided it had been a mistake after all."

I touch his cheek. "No, it wasn't a mistake. I was actually thinking it was such a natural thing to have happened. I just woke up with the feeling that everything has changed now between us."

He raises his eyebrows quizzically, "What makes you think that anything has changed just because we made love and I know that you love me now?"

"Because it means whatever is between us is truly real." I say. The next part is harder to get out. "And that scares me."

"Why does us being real scare you?" Peeta is curious, but concerned at what I might say.

"Beacause it means I am giving you my heart. I love you so much and I don't want to lose you now. I don't think I could take losing anyone else."

Peeta puts his fingers under my chin to tilt it up and look at him. "Katniss, I'm not going anywhere. I made a promise to stay with you always and I intend to keep it."

"You'll get tired of my moods eventually." I state.

He gives a chuckle. "I think I've gotten used to them by now enough to handle them. Besides, I'm no walk in the park myself. You have to deal with my flashbacks, you know. You have always stayed with me, brought me back. You look out for me, and I look out for you. It's what we do."

I know he's right, but I decide to bring forth something else on my mind. "We're you….satisfied last night?"

Peeta's face turns serious at this. "Katniss, I've been in love with you since I was five years old and basically waiting for last night most of my life. It wasn't going to take much, so yes, I was very satisfied. Were you?"

I thought about this for a moment. I retraced my memories of the previous night and how it all felt. I remembered the pain that occurred followed by immense pleasure. I smiled. "Yes, I was, very much so."

Peeta looks relieved at this. "I'm glad. I know I had to hurt you."

"It's okay," I reassure him. "The pain was only there for a minute, and then it felt really good." I stopped for a breath, and then continued. "I was just worried about what your expectations would be and I obviously have no experience at this."

"I had no expectations, Katniss." He replies. "Seriously, I was so happy to just be with you in that way that I felt every bit of pleasure that I wanted. It's not like I have much experience at this either. Look, like everything about us, we can take this slow. Learn about each other and figure it out together. Okay?"

It was like all the built up fear just melted away with his words. How could I deserve someone so understanding and loving all at the same time? I couldn't put words to how I felt. So, I just leaned over and kissed him with all that was inside me. We stayed like that for a while, soaking in the moment.

"Can I ask you a question now?" Peeta finally says.

"Okay. Shoot." I reply feeling emboldened.

"What made you finally decide on me?" he asks quietly.

Again, I have to decide on my words first. He is so much better at this than I am. The truth, I know, is always best. "Do you remember the conversation you had with Gale in Tigress' basement?"

Peeta thinks for a moment, and then looks back at me. "Yes, I do. You heard that? We thought you were asleep."

"I wasn't," I admitted. "I heard what you both said about me."

"Okay," he said, still a little confused. "So, what exactly does that have to do with last night?'

"Gale was right. I ended up choosing the one I couldn't survive without." At these words, I could see Peeta's eyes soften and almost start to glisten, so I continue. "Gale is just like me, full of fire. What I need is you, the hope you give me that things can be better. I realized this last night, and that's why I could tell you finally that what I feel is real. That I love you."

He takes my face and kisses me again. "I love you, too. So very much."

The kissing continues until, eventually, I decide to speak again. "So now that we have settled that, what do we do now?"

"We do as we always have." Peeta explains. "You'll hunt, I'll bake, and we'll continue to live our lives to honor those who we have lost, by loving each other." He stops, thinking, but goes on. "To start, though, how about we go down and get some breakfast? I'll make cheese buns."

I smile, picking up a blanket and wrapping it around me. "Bet you can't beat me down there!" I race out of the room. I hear Peeta yelling and chasing after me down the stairs as we begin just another day together.

**Part 2-Peeta's POV**

I wake with the dawn. As a baker, this is just habit. I have been trained to rise early to begin the work. But this morning, I immediately realize, is different. Because last night everything changed.I look at the figure in the bed beside me still sleeping. Although I am used to sleeping with her every night now, the events of the previous evening has added a new element to that routine.

I had made love with Katniss. I wasn't expecting it now, but the way it occurred ended up being just right in the end. I kissed her as we were falling asleep as was my habit the past couple of months. I had been so happy that we had at least come back to this after everything. But my girl, as with everything, surprised me last night by adding more fervor than ever to our kisses, and I somehow found myself in a position above her. What happened after that was just natural instinct on both our parts, and while it was amazing, what occurred next was a million times better.

After everything that we had been through, and all the confusion and hurt I had endured in regards to my relationship with Katniss, it seemed that she really loved me after all. I had to know, though. I summoned up all of my courage and asked her straight out. I used the "Real or not real" game as a format because it was familiar to us both. Her reply was "Real."

I thought I would explode from the happiness I felt. This girl who I had pined for so long was now telling me that she was mine. I felt my heart bursting with the joy as I ran my hands through her hair and we both fell asleep. I knew there would be no nightmares for us this night.

So here I was, awake now and a little fearful about what the morning would bring. Katniss looked so beautiful in her sleep. The scowl was off her face and it was so much softer that way. I stroked her cheek with my hand as I just watched her. Eventually, her eyes opened and looked at me. She smiles as I brush her hair away and tell her good morning.

Katniss replies and asks me how I am doing. She seems calm at first, but I quickly see with her mind awakening the smallest look of panic hit her face. She tries to hide it, but I had caught it, and it makes me immediately react to find out what it means. _Does she regret what happened last night?_

She reassures me that it was not a mistake. She wanted it to happen, but she is just scared about the changes this will mean for us. I take this fear of hers in. We have been living with each other for months now, spending all of our time together when we aren't working, so what will be changing? Yes, we will have an added intimacy to our relationship, but the basis of us together will be no different.

I tell her this and she explains her fears. With last night, she has given me her whole heart, and therefore is risking again losing someone she loves. She has lost so much, and this is a difficult step for her. I know this, and remind her that I am not going to leave her. No matter her ever changing moods, I had made a promise of "always," and I intended to keep it until my death.

Katniss' next question was even more interesting. She wanted to know if I had been satisfied in our lovemaking. _Boy, she is really putting it all out there, isn't she?_ I think about the night before. It had been everything I could have ever wanted and more. After so many years of wanting, it wouldn't have taken much to please me, as just being with her in that way seemed to be an impossible dream for so long. So, what I had received in turn had been nothing but amazing. Now, that's not to say it had not been like some of the fantasies I had over the years (I am still human, and male), but I figure now she and I would have time to eventually bring those to fruition.

I again reasuure Katniss of my pleasure in her, and in turn want to make sure that I had done the same for her. I knew it had been her first time and I had hurt her. It pained me to do it, but it had to be done. Katniss calmed me this time by letting me know that through the initial pain, it had ended up being good for her, too. I smiled at the thought I could do that to her. I told her that we would work together on this new aspect of our relationship.

Since we were being so open in this conversation, it was my turn to ask her a question. I wanted to know after all this time why last night. When and how did she decide on me? I wasn't sure what kind of answer I would get, but Katniss decides to give a true explanation. It was actually Gale's comment about her choosing who she couldn't survive without that spurred it. She tells me that last night she realized that she truly needed and wanted me. And with that, she finally says the three words I had so longed to hear from her.

"That I love you."

"I love you, too. So very much," I reply. With that, our conversation seems to end, and we begin our day, actually racing down to the kitchen to have breakfast. I make Katniss some cheese buns, and we eat together while talking over our plans for the day. After I clean up and dress, I walk back downstairs where she is cleaning up plates. I wrap my arms around her and kiss her neck. She makes some moans in pleasure, and even though I don't want to, I eventually let go.

"I better head out," I tell her. "I want to stop by Haymitch's before going to the bakery."

"Sounds good," she says. "I'll be heading out to hunt soon. I'll bring home squirrels for stew tonight."

I nod and take a loaf from the counter. I give Katniss one last lingering kiss before heading out. I walk over the house next door. It really needed a new coat of paint. _Maybe I should do that this weekend._ I knock on the door and open it to go in. I call out for the old drunk, but he doesn't answer. I walk into the kitchen to find him in the chair with his eyes closed and head lying on the table.

I nudge him awake. "I brought you some bread." I tell him.

"Did you have to wake me up for it?" Haymitch replies. "You could have just let it, you know."

"I know, but I thought you might want to talk." I say.

"Now why would I…" he starts, but then looks at my face for a moment. "Well, well. Looks like somebody got lucky with a certain girl on fire."

I thought for a moment about trying to hide it, but this was Haymitch. He could see through anything I would try to pull. I might as well go with the truth. "How did you know?"

"You have the goofiest grin on your face," he replies. "It kind of screams that your girl made you happy last night."

I run my hand through my hair. "Okay, so it happened. After all this time, it happened. Happy now? You want details?"

My words have its effect as his face immediately scrunches up. "God no. I've had enough of you two to not want to have any knowledge of your nighttime activities." He motions for me to sit down as he slices a piece of bread.

I take a seat next to him and quietly say, "She loves me, Haymitch."

"Of course she does, boy." His own voice has lowered into its more serious tone. "She always has. Just took her forever to figure it out."

I laugh. "You're telling me."

"What can you expect, though?" he continues. "She's been trying to survive, keep her family alive, and be the face of a revolution. Kind of makes it hard to stop and think about love."

I nod and take a bite of the bread he had offered me. "Well, I guess now she has it figured out since things have calmed down. After all this time, I've got her."

"And what do you plan on doing with her?" Haymitch asks.

I think about this for a couple of minutes, trying to put together an answer for him. "You know, I let all my dreams of Katniss go before the Quarter Quell. I planned to die so there was no reason for them anymore. I had given her up so that she could be with Gale. But now, with everything so different, I can dream again. Having her love me, marriage, family. Maybe I can have it all."

"Maybe you can," the mentor states, "but don't go too fast. I know how much you want it all to happen, but you know sweetheart. If you bring it all on her too fast, you'll scare her. It took her this long just to figure out she wants to be with you." He stops for a moment, but goes on. "I'm not saying you can't have what you want, but you'll have to take your time."

"I've waited this long," I say. "I think I can manage to wait some more. As long as I have her, the rest can come as it may."

"The kids part will be tough," Haymitch warns. "She thinks she doesn't want them and fears what could happen if she has them."

"I know," I agree with him. "But, I can be very persuasive you know. I've got quite a way with words."

The old man laughs, "And confidence too." He once again gets a serious look, "If anyone can do it, kid, you can.

"Thanks, Haymitch. I better go." I get up and take my plate to the sink, where I lay it even thought I know it will not be cleaned for at least a week. I take one last look back at him.

"Congratulations, boy." he says to me as I turn to walk out. I head directly to the bakery at a fast pace and reach it within ten minutes. The workers have obviously been going for a while as the smell of fresh baked goods hits me.

I greet them all and quickly put on my apron. I go into the back room and find some dough to begin to knead. As my hand work, I think of everything that had occurred and what Haymitch had advised. I can dream again, but he was right, with Katniss, I would have to take my time. Even then, there was no guarantee that she would ever agree to marry me or have children. But, if nothing else, I was a patient man. I had my ways. In the meantime, Katniss was mine. That in itself was the most important thing.

A smile came over my face as I thought about it all. Oh yes, she was mine, and I knew that somehow, someday, no matter how much time it took, I would be able to convince her. I would make my dreams a reality.

I couldn't wait to get home tonight and start.

**Part 3-Katniss' POV**

Katniss stood in the kitchen, left in a glorious feeling of giddiness. It was funny, because she never thought that she would ever feel this good again. It was all because of Peeta. This newfound happiness came from her being in love with him. She knew it with all of her being.

Was it wrong to be happy after everything? Shouldn't she still be mourning Prim? _That isn't what she would have wanted. She would want you to live your life and find happiness wherever you could._ Katniss sighed at the thought of her sister. This would usually trigger one of her episodes, but today, for the first time, she was determined not to let the memories ruin this feeling. The best thing to do to get her mind back on track was to go into the woods where her mind was at its clearest.

She put on her hunting jacket and headed out. As Katniss approached the trees, a peace and calm immediately relaxed her. This place could always do that. She found her bow and arrows, and began her walk. She should find some game and take it to Greasy Sae. The old woman had done so much for her, and Katniss knew that she could make a great stew if she brought her some meat. There wasn't much out today, but she finally found a grouping of squirrels that she targeted. They were easy prey and her bag was filled up.

Katniss decided before she would go over to the old woman's house that she should stop and do some more thinking on the previous night's events. The trek to her spot was uneventful and she sat down. There was only one person she wanted to talk to right now. She looked up into the sky.

"Peeta and I are truly together now, Prim. It's real. I love him." Katniss laughed a little to herself. "I think you kind of knew it would come to this someday. I know you liked him." She felt the wind blow lightly upon her face as if in affirmation of what she said.

"But what now, little duck?" she continued. "I have given him my heart, but if I know Peeta, he is going to want more. Maybe not now, but at some point, he will want to take the next step. The question is can I do that? Do I want to be married to him?"

Katniss pondered this possibility. If she were married to Peeta, what actually would be different from their situation now? They already lived together, spent their time together, supported each other, and now shared their love physically. They were pretty much living life as a married couple. What would really change from their day to day lives by having a ceremony? Nothing. Only her last name if she so chose. For the first time, she allowed herself to truly consider the option. The young woman smiled, because the idea actually made her happy. She could really see it, and in her mind's eye marriage to her baker would be wonderful. Katniss knew that he would never hurt her, and that he would always stand by her. Peeta had proven that over and over again. She came to the conclusion that she just might be willing after all…

But she also knew if she agreed to marriage, that it wouldn't just stop there. Peeta would eventually want her to consider…children. A little shudder went through her as the word crossed her mind. The fear immediately overtook her. Katniss knew Peeta would be an amazing father. She had known this for a long time. After everything he had lost, he deserved to have a family. With that, her heart felt sadness at the idea that by wanting her, he was more than likely giving up that opportunity. But, at the same time, how could she do it, when even the mere thought of the subject made her quiver. She just didn't see how she would manage. It wasn't going to happen.

But, oh how happy she could make Peeta if it did. Her thoughts started to trail off. Right now, she decided not to worry about the fears. She needed to live in what was going on right now. For the moment, things were really good. She was in love with him, and taking things to the next level last night had been nothing short of amazing. Katniss was glad that their conversation this morning had gone so well. She actually found the anticipation of making love again tonight excited her. With a smile, she decided it was time to head home.

She walked to Greasy Sae's first. The small house had been quickly built, but Katniss could see how homey it was made in a short time. There was always an open invitation here, so she just walked in through the door.

"Sae? Are you here?" she called out.

The old woman appeared from the kitchen. "Hello there! Brought me some good meat today? I was craving some stew."

"Yes," Katniss answered. "I found some good squirrels." She dropped the game bag on the kitchen table.

"Thank you, girl. Why don't you sit down and have some tea?" She pointed to a chair and Katniss gratefully sat down and soon had a cup pushed in front of her. She drank slowly, trying to relax. Finally, Greasy Sae spoke again. "How were things in the woods?"

"Good," she replied. "I hunted, and I got some time to think some things through."

"Any particular things?" the older woman said with a twinkle in her eye. It was as if she already knew what had happened.

Katniss decided she couldn't hide it. "Mostly about Peeta and I. We, uh…we were intimate for the first time last night. It's good, but I was just thinking about what this means for the future."

Greasy Sae smiled, "It's about time you two got on with it. Anyone could see it was bound to happen. The boy is devoted to you, and it took you long enough to see what everyone else saw ages ago."

The girl couldn't' suppress a laugh. "And what was that?"

"That you were head over heels for him, too," was the reply. "So, did you get things worked in your head while you were out there?"

"Sort of. You see I know Peeta, and that he will want us to take the next steps eventually. I was trying to decide if that's what I really want someday too. Marriage is one thing, and I am okay with that. But it also means children, and I just don't think I can ever do that."

"Why not?" Sae questioned.

Katniss was struck dumb by this. No one had ever asked her this. "Because….Because I'm afraid of losing anything more. What could happen to a child I bring into this world. There is so much that could happen. The Games could come back. I…just don't think I could handle it. I get so scared just thinking about it."

"Girly, you listen now. I was scared for my youngsters when I had them. I knew that they could be reaped just like all the other kids. I was as fearful as anyone could be. Luckily, that didn't happen. But, let me tell you this, even if I had lost them to the Games, I wouldn't regret having them for one minute. The joy I felt while they were alive was worth everything. You just remember that. Don't let the memories of the past or fear of the future stop you from experiencing that joy."

All that the younger woman could do was sit there and soak it all in. The lines on Greasy Sae's face were strong and the kindness and wisdom behind her eyes demanded to be listened to.

"I promise I'll think about it," she finally said. Katniss got up and began to put her teacup into the sink.

"You do that. Go on now. Go on home to that boy of yours." She smiled again at her and with a wave Katniss left the house. There was lightness about her now having spoken with the older and wiser woman.

She reached her house and came in. It was time to start dinner now, and she began preparing mean and slicing vegetables. Katniss was almost done chopping some carrots when she heard a door open and close, followed not long after by two strong arms going around her waist. A head placed itself on top of her shoulder, and she could feel kisses along the side of her neck.

"Mmmmm, smells wonderful. It's good to see you." Peeta greeted her.

"You too. Why don't you wash up? We'll eat in a few minutes." He followed her advice and ten minutes later was back with the fresh scent of soap on him. Katniss fixed him a plate and they sat down at the table together.

"So, how did things go today?" he asked.

"Fine. I did some hunting, and then went to Sae's. We talked over tea," she told him.

"What did you talk about?" Peeta inquired looking interested.

Katniss hesitated a little when she answered. "The future mostly."

Peeta's eyebrows shot up in curiosity. "Really? Anything specific?"

Katniss rolled her eyes. She knew he was playing around with her. "Our future, okay? I told her what was going on with us, and what I know you are going to want, and that I have to think about that."

Peeta was a little more serious now. "Come to any conclusions?"

"Some," she said giving him a little nudge. "Some other things I still have to think about, but boy did she give me food for thought."

He nodded at her. Katniss decided to keep going. "What about you? Anything interesting happen?"

"We had a pretty good stream of customers today. I also got to talking with Haymitch."

Katniss felt it was her turn to smile now in this conversation. "Oh, do tell! What was the subject matter for you two today? Was he sober enough to talk?"

"Yeah, sober enough," he chuckled. "We talked about dreams."

"Dreams?" she repeated. "What dreams?"

Peeta picked up their plates that were now empty, and placed them in the sink. He walked back over, brought a chair nearer to hers and took her hand. He looked straight into her eyes. "Dreams that I had given up long ago, but hope that now maybe I can have again."

Katniss had a feeling she knew exactly what he was talking about. "Care to share those dreams?"

"Well, they mostly involve me, and you, and sharing our life together. Trying to persuade you to maybe one day soon marry me." Peeta said simply.

She felt her heart melt at his words. Remembering what she had decided in the woods and what Sae had told her, Katniss knew her reply. She smiled at him. "Well, there might be a chance I could be persuaded someday to that. But Peeta, I know there is more you want, and I'm still not sure I can give you that."

He brushed back some of her hair. "I understand."

She placed her hand on his cheek. "Don't give up on your dreams, or me. I just may need some more time."

"I can give you time, and I won't give up. Just keep the door open."

Katniss nodded, and Peeta leaned in then to kiss her deeply. They both smiled as they broke apart. She could see the desire burning in his eyes, and hoped that her own were the same. He started placing kisses again along her neck.

"Can I tell you once again that last night was truly amazing?" he spoke in a more husky tone.

"It was," she replied. "I kept thinking about that too today, wondering if there would be a repeat performance."

"I know I certainly was hoping so." Katniss could feel his fingers start to play with the buttons on her shirt.

"Well, then," she answered. "Let's go to bed."

Together, they stood up, and she led them up the stairs to their room. Another night of love was ahead of them, with the dreams that lay ahead.


	3. Deserving

**A story about Katniss and Peeta's engagement and wedding. ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games characters**

Deserving

"One year," Katniss said softly to herself as she worked in the kitchen. She had spent most of the day hunting and had caught a few good squirrels that she was preparing her dinner. As she was doing so, the thought had hit her all at once. It had been one year ago today that the war had ended, that she had killed Coin and Snow died in the aftermath. The time had seem to pass so quickly, yet so slowly at the same time. Oh, but what a year it had been. The days after the shooting with her alone in the capitol, or even when she first came home seem to drag by minute after minute, with her thoughts completely consumed by loss and grief. Alternating between sleeping, sitting by the fire, and maybe eating some food, it was the definition of a "pit of dispair."

That all changed the moment she saw that Peeta had returned. The primrose bushes planted, finding Buttercup, grieving with her mother, then slowly talking with Dr. Aurelius and getting into a routine. With these events, the pace of her life moved forward as she realized she healed. It increased more as she and Peeta had worked on their memory book and eventually they began sharing a bed again, followed by kissing. All of this culminating in the night of her revelation about three months, when she knew without a doubt she completely belonged with Peeta. They had made love for the first time, innocent, sweet, yet passionate, followed by her declaration that her feelings for him were "real."

From that day, they had not been separated. Spending any free time together and continuing to learn at night about the pleasure their bodies desired. It had a been a fast and furious few months since that time, with an almost magical feeling. So magical, that Katniss feared that something would soon break the bubble she felt she was in. RIght now, she was aware that since in the last couple of days Peeta had been acting strangely. Not distant necessarily, but like something was on his mind that he wasn't sharing with her. Usually, he told her everything as befit his open personality, so noticing that he was keeping something to himself was not normal. She thought of the many things it could be, like work stress, or dealing with flashbacks, but the insecure part of her also wondered if she had done something wrong and Peeta was reevaluating their relationship.

This scary thought had crept up in her mind over the past few days so that today she finally decided she had to confront him about it. She had to know what was going on so that her mind could have some peace. Healing had been so difficult this year that she had come to realize that peace in her life was what she craved most. All these thoughts she attempted to push aside as she finished dinner and waited for Peeta to be home. It wasn't long before she was rewarded with the turning of the doorknob and his footsteps coming through.

"Hey," he said to her coming in a giving her a quick kiss on her forehead. Nice, but definitely different from the passionate kisses that greeted her about a month ago. He went upstairs and changed, coming down fifteen minutes later to eat.

As they ate the stew and vegetables, she had finally had enough. She blurted out in frustration, "Peeta, tell me what is going on!"

"What do you mean?" his eyes averting from hers, "Nothing is going on."

"You might be a pretty good liar, but I have known you long enough to be able to tell now. Something is up, and has been for awhile. What is it? Did I do something? Do you want to go back to your house?" As always, her insecurity came through.

"Go back to my house?" he mumbled. "Why would you ever think that I would want to do that?"

"I don't know," she sighed, "all I know is that there is obviously something you are not telling me and I couldn't think of what else it could be unless there was something you were mad at me about."

He hesitated for a moment, and then sighed with resignation, finally deciding to own up. "Something has been on my mind a lot lately, although it has nothing to do with me being mad at you or wanting to leave. Actually, it's the opposite that has been going through my head."

"What?" she let her mind race at what he could possibly be talking about.

A few seconds of silence passed before he finally asked, "Can I ask you a question?"

"OK," she said nervously, unsure about what she would hear.

"Are we still engaged?" he said quietly.

"What?" she asked more confused than ever.

"Once, I asked you to marry me, you said yes, and we were engaged. I know that it was staged. I know that an arena, hijacking, and a war have taken place since then, but considering we have never actually talked about it, I wanted to know….are we still engaged?"

This stopped her completely, as not even in her wildest dreams would she have imagined he would have asked this. Where was he going with this? She was trying to put her mind around it to come up with an answer, and finally settled on simple truth.

"Well, since it was a fake engagement, I suppose I thought it ended on its own with everything that happened, but I guess technically we never broke it off. " He looked at her and nodded with understanding.

"That's what I thought," he replied quietly.

Waiting for more from him, she finally asked, "Why are you asking me this Peeta?"

He ran his hand through his hair. "Because before I proposed to you, I needed to know if there was a need to ask you again." His words raced out so fast she had to take a moment to get it all. Her fear was rising with each second at the implications of what he was saying.

"You want to get married?" she asked him.

"Yes. I want to marry you. I did even on the Victory Tour, I just didn't like the fact that I was forced to do it. You had to say yes and were not given the chance to choose me for yourself. I always wanted to be with you, though. You know that." She did, and in silence listened as he continued, "now that we are truly together, I thought that I could try asking again without the cameras and the world watching. It's just us. I love you Katniss. Will you marry me?" She had noticed that while he was talking he had taken her hands and was nervously holding them in his own now. She looked into his deep blue eyes that were searching for an answer. She started shaking herself as the moments ticked by.

Marry Peeta? The feelings surging through her scared her to the core. Once voice echoed above all the others in her mind. _"You know, you could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve him," _Haymitch had said to her so long ago. He was right, she knew. Peeta was so much better than she. He was with her now, but how long would it really last before he tired of her moody ways. Not to mention the fact that she would not have children and he deserved to be a father more than anyone one day. She was sure he would leave eventually, given the opportunity.

As always, Peeta seemed to read her thoughts. "Remind me to tell Haymitch he's an idiot for saying that to you. If you are thinking some silly thoughts about me being too good for you, get rid of them. You don't have to deserve me or earn my love. I give it to you freely. I also think that since I have been in love with you since I was five years old, I have a strong suspicion that the feeling won't go away any time soon, " he smiled at her.

The thoughts still running through her mind, she pushed aside all fear until she decided it all boiled down to one simple question. Did she want to marry him? She was already spending her life with him now and having an intimate relationship with him. They had made it through it all together. With that, she realized she had already made her decision. She had made it the night she confessed her love to him. As she looked up at him again, she realized she had still not answered him. The hope on his face was draining with each passing moment. She finally spoke up.

"Well, I guess since you could still technically say we were engaged, there is only one question to ask now."

His eyebrow raised up questioningly, "What's that?"

"When do you want to set the date?"

They decided that since they only wanted a simple trip to the justice building and toasting, that two weeks was plenty of time. They went and told Haymitch first, who woke up enough from his drunken state to murmur "About time." before passing out again. Katniss called her mother in District 4, who told her that she was so happy for her and knew that Peeta would be good to her. Annie and Johanna gave their congratulations each in their own unique way. Annie crying and saying how she wished Finnick could be there, Johanna ribbing Peeta as to how he could want to marry someone so brainless. They also told Effie, knowing that she would quickly inform all of the people necessary in the Capitol. The hardest was telling Gale, but Katniss knew she had to do it. After a couple of days of thinking, she decided a letter would be best. Many drafts later, she finally felt comfortable with the result.

_Gale,_

_I have heard you are working and staying in District 2 now. I hope that you are happy there. There are two things I wanted to tell you. First, that I forgive you. It still hurts, so much that I don't think we could ever be the friends we were, but at the same time, I want to forgive so that I can move on. Second, Peeta and I are getting married. After he returned to District 12, I realized you were right. He is the one I could not survive without. I think you already knew this, though. I hope you will understand._

_Keep well. Give your family all my best._

_Katniss_

The preparations were easy and so went fast. Peeta was going to make the cake and the bread for toasting. Katniss only needed to find a dress to wear. She debated a few different ideas, from borrowing one, to renting one like in the old days. Finally, she decided to look in her closet at all the dresses from the Victory Tour. So many fabrics and colors, she started taking one after one out, remembering each moment she had worn the outfit and still not feeling it was right. By the time she heard Peeta walk in the door of the house, her room looked like a disaster zone.

"Whoa! What in the world Katniss? Am I going to get to be able to sleep in bed tonight?" Peeta laughed as his eyes roamed around the room.

Katniss stood up. "Sorry, I was trying to decide what to wear. Nothing seems right."

"Well, maybe this will help. I don't know what it is, but it came from your prep team."

"My prep team? Why would they send me anything?" Katniss looked questioningly at Peeta.

He shrugged, "I don't know, but why don't you open I and see?"

He handed her a white box that as she looked at her emotions vulnerable. They was a large script C on the box. It could only stand for one thing, but that couldn't possibly be. She first took a small note that was placed on the top of the box.

_Katniss,_

_We heard your news. Cinna left this with us a few days before he was taken. He told us to give it to you only if and when you were getting married. _

_We wish you all the best._

_Love,_

_Venia, Flavius, and Octavia_

She pulled the top off of the box, which had another note on top of some thin white paper. This note had a different handwriting, but the words were from a voice she never thought she would hear again.

_My Dearest Katniss,_

_I know I will be gone when you receive this, but know that all my love has gone into it. I don't know exactly when it will be, but I am sure that one day you will marry Peeta, and not because the Capitol is making you do so, but because you truly love him. You may not have seen it, but I did, and know that one day it will come. When it does, I did not want you to marry in some Capitol dress, not when what you should truly wear is a dress befitting a District 12 wedding. That is what I have left for you here. The team has been given instructions to get it to you when they hear that you are to marry. I hope that they will have fulfilled my wishes. I am always betting on you, and Peeta…always._

_Cinna_

The light paper pulled apart easily to reveal a white dress, simple and satin, that felt like heaven as she brought it out of the box. It was off the shoulder, with a fitted bodice to the waist, and a skirt that flowed to just below her knees, with the back a little longer than the front. It was amazingly simple, yet exactly what she would want. As she looked at it, she gasped when she saw that embroidered in the hem of the skirt were little pearls. How could he have known what pearls would mean to us?

"It's amazing and perfect," Peeta remarked, "he always knew exactly what to do. You are going to look amazing. I don't think you have to look any further."

"Of course I don't!" she smiled. She rushed to the bathroom to try it on.

A week and a half passed quickly. Of course, Katniss should have realized that as soon as she felt even remotely comfortable with the situation that something would happen to throw the balance off. The day started off normally, with only 4 days left until the toasting., and she headed downstairs to the expected smell of bread. When she reached the lowest level, though, Katniss could tell something was wrong . The usual smell was tinged with burning. This was not good. She couldn't remember Peeta ever letting bread burn, other than the one time he did it on purpose all those years ago. The odor was obvious the closer she got to the kitchen. When she finally came through the doorway, she finally saw the smoke slowly coming from the oven, but her fiancée was nowhere to be seen. She rushed to grab an oversized mitt, turned the oven off, the n tried to pull the bread pan out. Once she felt secure that the house was not going to burn down, she went to search him out. She found him in the sitting room, standing behind a chair, gripping it so tightly his knuckles were white.

"Peeta," she started, "you let the brea-,." She stopped when she noticed his eyes. They were most definitely not blue, but close to a black color. Oh no, Katniss thought, not now. He must be in the middle of a flashback. She scrambled to think of what she could do, but before she could act, he spoke in an almost growl.

"Katniss, get out of here."

"No, I'm not leaving you." she raised her own voice to let him know she was serious.

"I don't want to hurt you. Go to Haymitch," Katniss could hear the pleading in his voice.

She wasn't going to give in so easily. "You're not going to hurt me, and if you can think you can out stubborn me, dream on!" Hiis eyes flashed even blacker with that statement, and Katniss thought that maybe that was not the right way to calm the situation.

"Ok, sorry. I shouldn't have said that, but I am staying, Peeta," her voice remaining calm and level. "Why don't I just go sit down over here." She went over to the comfortable couch where they usually spent most of the evening together talking or working on the plant or memory book. He kept his grip on the chair as she began to just talk to him. "I know I don't say much sometimes, but I am glad that I am with you. You are so good, not just to me, but to everyone. " She kept on and with each word she could see his breathing returning to normal and his eyes once again become a shade of blue. After about ten minutes, he finally let go of the chair. He walked over slowly to where she was and sat down.

"I don't know what happened," he started, "I was baking and it just hit. I wish I could tell you what triggered it, but I can't. All I can say is thank you for staying and talking to me. It really helped."

"You're welcome," she replied and sighed with relief as the tense moment seemed to be over. As they got up, they held hands walking to the kitchen, and Katniss had the thought that this was exactly what the "for better, or worse" statement meant in the old marriage vows that she had heard about.

The day dawned bright and shiny as Katniss opened her eyes on what would be her wedding day. As she knew he would be, Peeta was already gone. He was already baking at his old house, wanting to keep the excitement by letting her get ready for the event on her own and seeing her for the first time when they both arrived at the Justice Building. She got up and went about getting clean, showered, eating some breakfast, and trying to keep busy so that she would not be nervous. She had just finished eating when the door opened. Expecting it to be Peeta not being able to wait, she was surprised to see Haymitch there.

"Hi. You're up early," she stated.

"Well, I was told it was a big, big , big day, " he replied, "so I thought I would come by to say something that I should have told you a long time ago, sweetheart."

She had to admit she was curious, "And what is that?"

"I was wrong…you do deserve him, or more to the point, you deserve each other. After all you and the boy have been through, you both deserve this." She was moved by the words their old mentor was telling her.

"Thank you, Haymitch. I think it took me some time to come around, but here we are, " she said. "Who would have thought that day when we were reaped?"

"Yeah, who would've thought?" he laughed and with that walked out. Katniss continued to get ready, until finally it was time to put Cinna's beautiful creation on. The white dress fit her perfectly and fell in all the right places. She braided her hair and pinned it up, placing some dandelions and primroses carefully within her hair. It was the perfect touch, and she knew Peeta would like it. Time passed quickly, until it was time to head to the Justice Building. She walked out of the house and headed that direction. After what seemed like the longest walk of her life, she finally reached the building. People with cameras were everywhere. She should have known that Plutarch would get his publicity somehow once he found out about this. She tried to block it all from her mind and began to climb the stairs, her heart beating rapidly with each step. She got to the top and found him there, elegantly decked out in a dark suit and blue tie, love showing deep in his eyes as he looked at her. It made her focus on him and not on the circus around them. As soon as she locked eyes with him, her heartbeat calmed and all of and a feeling of assuredness washed over her like a ton of bricks. She knew without a doubt now that this was right.

"Together?" he asked her, reminding her of that fateful moment with the berries.

"Together," she answered. Hand in hand they turned, gave one last wave to the cameras, and walked inside to seal their union.

Later that evening, they sat in front of the fireplace, Peeta brought out the bread he had made early that morning. Immediately, Katniss smelled the familiar scent of raisins and nuts, once again bringing her back to a memory long ago. They were alone now. Haymitch must have made it clear that the media could have their picture, but after that to let them be. Katniss was grateful, as this was the most important moment to her anyways

She looked down at the loaf in Peeta's hands. "You remembered," she said to him.

"Of course I did," Peeta replied, "It seemed only fitting that it should be this bread tonight. It was this bread that kind of began everything."

She smiled at this and he broke the bread in two, giving her half. They each took their piece and lightly toasted it in the fire. With statements of love and they each fed each other; in this moment Katniss felt them all. Prim, Rue, Finnick, all of those she had lost. She could feel them here with them, and smiling . As the feeling filled her heart, she leaned in and kissed her husband wtih the passion only he could bring out in her and hope for the future. Oh yes, it had definitely been quite a year.

**Thanks for reading!**

**I would love to hear your reviews.**


	4. Presents

**A story about Katniss' decision to finally have a baby. ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games characters**

**Presents**

"What am I going to give him this time?" Katniss thought about the situation she was in. She had never been good at giving presents to others. Before the war, there were never any real reasons to give presents. There were no holidays, and birthdays were the only things really celebrated. Even then, there usually wasn't enough money for a cake, let alone a present. It was sheer dumb luck in giving Prim the goat, which up to this point was the best gift she had ever given. But now, so many years after the war, things were different. There were a few holidays to celebrate, along with birthdays and anniversaries, which is exactly how she landed in the situation she was in now. There was no excuse not to give, as she had plenty of money to afford one, along with cake, and coming soon were two events close together that she had to think of something for.

It was all his fault! He was the one who made her fall in love with him so that she ended up marrying him and therefore was now obligated not only to give a gift for his birthday but their anniversary, as well. Both events were only 2 months apart, with their wedding anniversary coming up next week. And it wasn't just any anniversary. They will have been married for 15 years. It was special. She knew Peeta would definitely think so. She did too. It was amazing they had been together this long and still felt the same feelings, maybe even more so, than they did the first year.

` It wasn't that giving presents bothered her. They didn't, for she loved both giving and receiving them. But it was the fact that her gifts always seemed to pale next to what Peeta always gave her. Starting with the pearl and the locket in the arena of the 75th games, everything he gave had so much meaning. Just when she thought he could not outdo the last one, he always came up with something better the next time. A mounted and framed dandelion to celebrate their engagement, a portrait of her family for her birthday one year, and on their tenth anniversary he suggested finally getting wedding rings to honor their marriage. He went so far with this to even think of getting them engraved, the words he chose fraught with meaning. On the inside of his was written "Real," and hers lovingly inscribed with "Always." Her thumb daily rubbed over the word to remind her of him.

She gave him gifts, too, but they just didn't have the same feeling. New paints, pencils, easels, or other art supplies that he needed, or baking supplies or tools he had run out of. He needed them and appreciated them, but for once she wanted to do something that would make him see how much feeling went behind the gift and show how strong her love was for him. She had been mulling over this dilemma for weeks now, and still had no idea what to do. She thought of baking him something for once, but her skills were terrible, no matter how much he taught her. She tried art, as well, with little success. Something to remember his family by? He missed them so much…but, she didn't have anything to give in that way. She also tinkered with the idea of going the route of an intimate gift like lingerie, but Peeta always told her he didn't need that to enjoy that aspect of their life. She was getting a headache thinking so much about it all.

She was now at the point of needing help and ideas. The problem with that was who to go to. She could call up Annie, but she would probably say something to the effect that anything she gave him would be perfect. She could try Johanna, but that would bring ridicule, jokes, and mandates to just "jump his bones." Not helpful in any case. Haymitch always gave her good advice, but was in a bad state lately with waiting on his next liquor shipment, as well as never being married. "He still might be the best choice," she thought, when another person hit her mind who would be perfect. "Delly!" Katniss yelled out. Immediately, she ran out the door towards the middle of town. Delly's house was there where she lived with Thom, whom she married a year after returning to District 12. Katniss reached the house in 5 minutes. Panting, she knocked on the door. If Delly wasn't home, she could still stop by Haymitch's. After a few seconds, though, the door opened and a very pregnant Delly stood there with a huge smile on her face when she saw who it was.

"Katniss! It's great to see you. What are you doing here today?" she asked.

"I need some advice if you have time." Katniss smiled at the always happy woman.

"Of course! Come on in and sit down. I will make us some tea." Katniss come in and followed Delly into the kitchen. Delly started heating the stove and put the teapot on. After a few minutes it was boiling, and she took it off and finished making the tea, pouring two cups and placing them on the table.

"So, now tell me what is going on?" Delly started.

"Well," Katniss hesitantly while sipping on her cup. "it's our anniversary next week, and I can't think of what to get for Peeta. His gifts are always so wonderful and mine seem like afterthoughts compared to them."

Delly laughed, "Katniss, you need to calm down and stop putting yourself down or comparing your gift giving to Peeta's. First of all, it is just his nature to give thoughtful gifts. I know it probably doesn't come as easy for you. Second, no matter what you give, he will love it because he loves you more than life itself, and anything coming from you means a lot to him."

"I know, " Katniss sighed in reply, "but I want to really come up with something that will really show him all that I feel for him. Something with so much meaning for him."

Delly thought for a moment. "If you really want advice, what I would say is to think about Peeta. Think about who he is, not just what he likes, but more than that. Try to think about what are the true desires of his heart. That's what I try to do when giving gifts to Thom. I've actually had some good inspirations when I do! Last gift, Thom appreciated it so much I became pregnant with this one." She pointed to her very round stomach.

"The desires of his heart." Katniss pondered this idea for a minute. It at least gave her something to think about, even if it wasn't a specific idea. With that, Katniss decided to not take any more of Delly's time. "Thanks Delly, for the tea and the talk. I think I will be going now. I really appreciate just being able to talk with you."

"It's alright, Katniss. You are welcome any time to come and talk. I'm your friend too. Let me know how it all turns out!" Delly waved goodbye, and with that, she left and headed to the only place she knew where she could think clearly.

Her spot in the woods was another ten minutes from Delly's house, but Katniss relished the fresh air and time to think. When she finally got to her spot, she sat down amidst the lush green trees and finally put her mind to the idea she had been left with. The desires of Peeta's heart, she kept saying to herself. What were they anyway? What did Peeta want with his whole heart more than anything else?

As soon as that last question crossed her mind, the answer came so quickly to her. With that, it scared her more than anything she had experienced. She knew exactly what the desire of Peeta's heart was, and it was something she had openly denied him throughout their marriage. It was a topic they had discussed, skirted around, and fought over so much over the last 15 years that it had finally come to a point where they had stopped talking about it. Peeta was too tired of arguing and Katniss knew he had decided that she would never change her mind. She had hid the topic in the back of her mind for at least the last couple of years, but this had brought it to the forefront again.

"A baby," Katniss finally said to herself. Once she said it her mind started going a hundred miles an hour. At first, all her list of reasons for not having a baby quickly rose up. She didn't want to put any children through the torture of reapings and the Games. But, she had to admit that in fifteen years, the government had stabilized and she was now confident that the Games would never come back. She was afraid of being a failure as a mother. As Peeta had consistently reminded her in their arguments that he believed Katniss would make an amazing mother. She had loved and taken care of Prim so fiercely that he knew that she would do the same for their children. She knew she ultimately would too, but didn't she lose Prim anyway? How would she be able to lose her own child? Fear for their safety would overwhelm her.

But wouldn't that mean the capitol would still have a piece of her? That her keeping this fear of having a baby means that she was letting what had happen control her. The best way to overcome the destruction of life was to make life. Wouldn't it be the final insult from her to the capitol and its old ways to bring life into the world after so much death? She began to sit tall, realizing what was happening to her resolve. It was melting away with each answer to the argument. The final touch was her next thought. Peeta deserves to be a father. His kindness, compassion, and devotion would make him the best, she had no doubt. After the loss of his entire family, he should have the chance to continue his life on. She had been the barrier to it. She smiled as she thought about a little girl with his blonde curls and maybe her grey eyes dancing around the house, baking with Peeta, and walking through the woods with her. She had never before visualized what her child could look like, but seeing that vision now cemented her decision. With that, she got up and literally raced home to make preparations as she now knew what she was going to do.

Once there, she ran up to her bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. The little bottle of pills were in there and she grabbed them. It was funny that she only had to take one every three months, but today was the actual day she was scheduled to take one. Only now, she had another idea for them. She found a little box, placed the bottle inside it and found some blue paper to wrap it up. Katniss then took some paper and wrote a little note to go with the present and placed it on top. She put everything in her dresser drawer and breathed a deep sigh. This was the beginning of some serious life changes. She had to get ready to face them.

A week later, Katniss was pacing as she was waiting for Peeta to come home from the bakery. Her nervousness had never been so high as it was now. Not only about the gift, but the implications of it. Finally, she heard the door open and the clomping of feet coming through the kitchen and into the family room where she was.

"Katniss?" Peeta called out, "Are you in here?"

"I'm here," she replied, and ran over to him, firmly kissing him to bid him welcome and show her excitement about the evening.

"Wow!" he said, "someone's glad to have me home! Happy Anniversary Katniss."

"Happy Anniversary Peeta. I love you. I can't believe it has been fifteen years." she said.

"Neither can I. It has gone by so fast, and you have made it wonderful." He always said the most loving things to her in his compliments. "Is dinner ready?"

"Yes, come on!" she said, and they went in to their dining room and enjoyed a delicious meal together that Katniss had prepared. As Peeta brought out dessert that he had made while at work, Katniss retrieved the gift from upstairs. They ate the amazing cake for a minute, then Peeta broke the silence.

"Here, a present for you to celebrate." He handed her a small, velvet, somewhat flat box. The only other time she had ever received such a box was when he got her wedding ring. But this wasn't square like that, it was more rectangle shape. She decided to just open it and when she did she was stunned. It was a gold chain necklace, but on the necklace was something she had not seen in years. The pendant was a pearl, and as soon as she saw it she knew without asking that it was not just any pearl, but the pearl that Peeta had given her on the beach in the Games.

"Oh Peeta!" she cried, "it's the pearl! It's so beautiful." The pearl was in a gold setting. Peeta told her to look on the back of the setting. When she did, she saw that it had been inscribed with a heart that had the letters P and K inside. Again, his gift had so much meaning and thoughtfulness to it. She thanked him and gave him another kiss. She then remembered to give him her gift. Here goes nothing, she thought.

He tore the paper off of the box and opened it, pulling out the bottle of pills. If it hadn't been such an intense moment, Katniss would have laughed at the look of complete confusion on his face.

"Um, Katniss, why are you giving me your bottle of birth control pills?" he finally asked.

"Because Peeta, I'm not taking them anymore, so I am giving them to you." she replied. Taking it all in and thinking for a minute, it dawned on him what she was trying to say.

"Katniss, are you telling me you want to have a baby?" he asked hesitantly, a hope on his face that she had not seen in a long time.

"Yes, Peeta, I am," she simply said.

"After all this time…" he let his thought trail off. "Are you sure? I mean, you were so adamant about not having one. What made you change your mind? I don't want you doing this just to make me happy. I want you to want this too."

"I do Peeta. I was thinking over all the arguments I had about not having a baby and finally came to the realization that they were not valid anymore. I'm not saying that I am not scared. I'm terrified, but at the same timeI am sure this is what I want with you more than anything. So, your gift for our anniversary is that I am giving you my pills and telling you that I am ready to have a baby if you are."

"Took you long enough!" he laughed, "and you bet I am ready. I have been ready for a long time. Thank you, Katniss." She laughed with him and they came together in a passionate kiss full of love, longing, and hope for all that the future had in store. He picked her up and led her upstairs where he let her fully know for most of the night how much he appreciated her gift.

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

This time, the idea for what to give him was so simple Katniss only needed a moment of thought to decide. She took the little stick and placed it in a small rectangular box and wrapped it quickly. She wrote a little note to go with it and once again waited for Peeta to come home. After her nervousness the last time, she was practically giddy with what she was doing now.

When he came through the door, she ran to him and called "Happy Birthday Peeta!"

He gave her a thorough kiss, "What a welcome. It smells wonderful in here. Did you bake?"

"I did!" she smiled. "I made you a cake. I think I did pretty good this time." She had spent most of the morning working on it and was pretty proud of the result.

"Well, I can't wait to have some, lets eat then!" he replied and led her to the dining room once again. They finished with the cake and it may not have been as good as his creation, but it was definitely the best one she had ever made, and Peeta made his appreciation know by eating two pieces. Finally, he sat back and she knew it was now or never.

She got the box out and placed it on the table in front of him. He was intrigued by the shape and size, she could tell, so he quickly opened the gift. When he got the pregnancy test stick out, there was no confusion as he knew what it was. He looked at it and the lines it revealed, then he stared up at Katniss with an expression like he was not believing what he was seeing. She nodded and smiled and told him, "Why don't you look at the note." He did and saw words that melted his heart. It said Happy Birthday Peeta! Love, Katniss and Baby. He looked up again and the tears springing up in his eyes were unmistakable.

"I'm going to be a father. We're going to be parents, " he stated as the full realization was sinking in.

"Yeah, we are. In about seven and a half months," she told him.

The smile that came on his face lit up the room as he looked at her with all the love and admiration in his heart. "You are amazing, you know that?" he told her.

"You had a hand in it too, you know! This is one gift you can't give back. I hope you like it!" she stated.

"Don't worry. Best birthday present ever!" he said and together they laughed and kissed and loved for the rest of the night. Before falling asleep, Katniss looked at her husband and saw the look of complete happiness and peace on his face. She knew the next months would be difficult and the fear was not gone, but seeing him now, made all that she would face worth it. She loved him that much.


	5. Fear and Joy

**A story about the birth of Katniss and Peeta's daughter. ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games characters**

**Fear and Joy**

"_When I first felt her stirring inside of me, I was consumed with a terror that felt as old as life itself. Only the joy of holding her in my arms could tame it"—Mockingjay Epilogue_

"If you think that I am going to let you touch me again after this, you better think again!" Katniss yelled through the agonizing pain she was feeling. She knew she had her own helping hand in this situation, but yelling at her husband was a way to vent.

Peeta just smiled down at her, saying "Sure, Katniss, whatever you say. I promise it will all be worth it when it's over. You're doing great"

"After nine months, I'm ready for this to be over. Can't they do anything?" she pleaded with him.

"You're too far along. It's coming, I promise, "he took her hand to squeeze it. "Just remember what you've learned to calm yourself."

_Just remember what I learned_, Katniss let her mind wonder at that thought. She had learned so much through this experience of pregnancy, and trying to place exactly what lesson Peeta was referring to was difficult at this particular time.

She went back in her mind to the beginning of it. Starting with deciding to give up her birth control, getting the positive pregnancy test, and telling Peeta. She was on the highest of highs that particular night. The next few months after that seemed to validate her decision to do this. She had morning sickness, but she found it was more of a nuisance than anything. Peeta would hold her hair back for her while she sat over the toilet, and then afterwards get her crackers and tea to settle her stomach. He would stay with her until it finally passed, then leave for the bakery. She would usually then feel good enough to head out and try to hunt some. Some days were better than others at that, but at least she was still able to get out. If the smell became too much for her, she would just pick some berries and other things, then head back. It was as terrible as Delly had claimed it was, but she was still happy when ended.

There were other markers to make the first months easy. Telling those closest to them was an entertaining enterprise. Since most were aware of Katniss firm declaration to not have children, their shocked faces were priceless when they told them that they would indeed be bringing a baby into the world. Of course, they all wondered what Peeta did to finally convince her to do it. As soon as those in the Capitol learned of the news, through Effie of course, Plutarch immediately called and begged for an interview. Katniss beamed with pride as Peeta told him in no certain terms that they would not do it, and to make sure the reporters and cameras were kept away. For once, Plutarch seemed to have listened, as she had been left in peace for the most part all of these months.

All of this changed when she was about four and a half months along. She was walking around in the house, about to head out when she felt a strange sensation in her abdomen. She equated it to like having butterflies inside that were fluttering, which was impossible. She vaguely remembered someone telling her that around this time she would feel the baby moving. That is what the feeling must have been. Knowing that, the reality of this baby hit her hard. It was REAL. It was ALIVE inside her. In a few months it would be out of her and into this world.

Katniss instinctively put her hand over her stomach and sat down, reeling. All of the sudden her thoughts ran. How could she have done this? There are so many things that could happen to it. It would be so vulnerable, and what kind of mother would she be? Terrible. She had no idea what to do with a baby. What was she thinking? She couldn't do this. She wasn't fit to be a mother. She was broken, and no child deserved that. She quickly ran to her room, turned off the lights and laid in bed, trying to sleep to get away from the feelings. That only ended in making it worse.

The nightmare was stronger than any she had in a while. She was walking around the capitol in her Mockingjay uniform, dead children all around her on the group. The grief was overwhelming in her soul as she looked at all the young faces. She wanted to scream, but her voice would not make a sound. With one last attempt, she used all her energy, and created a yell that seem to reach the heavens. Immediately, her eyes opened and she found herself sweating, and being swaddled by two strong arms.

"Katniss, wake up. It's okay. I'm here. It's not real. It's only a nightmare. I love you. We are here together," Peeta's soothing words rushed out of his mouth and into her heart. He saw her eyes open and looked at her, stating, "There you are."

"I'm sorry, Peeta. It was terrible. I fell asleep and it was the worst nightmare ever; "

"Its okay, Katniss. I wish I had been here sooner. I'm home now. Do you want to talk about it?" he stroked her hair as he held her.

"I don't know. I felt the baby move for the first time today, and it scared me. I never thought something like that would scare me so much, so I came up here to calm down. I just ended up falling asleep," she explained.

"I'm sorry you went through it alone. You could have called me to talk about it," he told her.

"I know, but I thought I could handle it and didn't want to bother you," she replied guiltily.

"I want to be here for you if you need me. Just call next time, OK?"

"OK," she said and relaxed into his arms.

"Want me to make something to eat?" he asked ending the conversation.

"Alright and she followed him downstairs for a quiet meal and night. He held her for the longest time that evening in bed, patiently waiting for her to fall into sleep. She had no more nightmares, but awoke the next morning to Peeta gone, having left a note.

_Katniss,_

_Sorry that I had to leave before you got up. I hope you feel better today. I left you some cheese buns. Please try to eat something and get out if you can._

_Love always, Peeta_

She went downstairs and saw the delicious buns waiting for her. She didn't want to eat, but forced a couple down since Peeta had taken the time to make them. He had also told her to get out, but she didn't feel like seeing anyone at all. It was supposed to rain, too, which meant she could go to the woods. Her only option was to go and see Haymitch. Maybe if she could get him to let her clean his house a little, she could be busy and get her mind off the baby. She walked through the Victor's Village to his house, walking through the door as he never locked it.

She found him in the kitchen, face down on the table, and the bottle left in his hand. He must have had a really bad night, Katniss thought, if he was like this. She shook him to try and wake him.

"Haymitch! Haymitch! Wake up," she yelled. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes and glared at her.

"What are you doing here?" he grumbled.

"You're drunk," she retorted without hesitation.

"You're knocked up," he came back at her. She scowled at him and finally decided to get to the point of her visit.

"Can I clean up around here to keep busy?" she asked, "Peeta wanted me to get out today."

"Sure. Why did our daddy-to-be want you out of the house?" His curiosity was aroused.

"I freaked out yesterday and had a really bad nightmare. Peeta found me." With Haymitch, truth was always best.

"And just why were you freaking out?"

"I felt the baby move. It scared me. It became so real to me, and I realized I was stupid for thinking I could have this baby. I'm not ready. I don't know how to be a mother" Katniss went on, letting all the emotions and fears flow out of her. When she was done, Haymitch looked at her for a moment, and then actually began to laugh.

"This isn't funny." She thought he was more unfeeling than she knew for that.

"Yes it is, sweetheart. I never thought you would ever be one to let fear rule you. Go into the arena twice, be the face of a rebellion, and you will face those head on. But, have a baby and you run and hide? I think it is hilarious." He took a swig of his flask.

She paused to think this through. What he said was true. She had never been one to be afraid or to let fear stop her from what she needed to do. Only now, a tiny thing inside her had her wanting to crawl into a shell and never come out. She needed to face this, but so far the fear was winning.

"What can I do?" she asked him.

He looked at her. "Good things have happened to you, right?

"Yes, I guess so." She replied, not sure where he was going with this.

"Well, why don't you try thinking of something good for each time a thought of fear hits? Maybe if you focus on a good memory each time, the fear won't be so strong. You can maybe repeat it to yourself, like a game. See who can win. You know you hate to lose." He stopped there to gauge her reaction.

"I guess I could try it. I don't know if it will work, but I am willing to do anything at this point." With that, she thanked him and turned toward the door. By the time she was about to close it, Haymitch was passed out again.

Instead of going home, she took a little walk. Not to anywhere in particular, just to clear her head and think. Of course she had good thoughts and good memories. Some came easily to her mind. District 11 sending her bread in the arena, Madge giving her the Mockingjay pin, and Peeta giving her the bread, and so many other things that people had done for her. The more she thought, the more she came up with them. Maybe it could work, she told herself.

She finally headed home just in time to see Peeta coming towards the house at the same time.

"Hey there! You went out." He noted.

"Yeah; I took your advice for once. I went to see Haymitch, and then took a walk. It helped," she told him.

"I'm glad," he smiled at her. "Let's go inside," and they did, getting cleaned up and starting to make the evening meal together. While she was peeling potatoes, the feeling hit again, that fluttering in her abdomen. She topped for a minute to calm herself, and already she felt that tenseness rise in her and her breathing quickening. I need to think of something, she thought, and the first vision that came to her mind was Rue. She was so young and sweet, standing in the trees, and telling her to place the leaves of certain plants on her stings. The sight of it made her smile, and as she did Katniss realized that she was once again relaxed, even as the fluttering was still there.

"Peeta, come here," she said, "There is something I want to show you."

He walked over to her and she took his hand and placed it on her stomach. "Do you feel that?" she asked. He concentrated for a moment, followed by his face lighting up in a smile.

"I do feel it!" he gleefully told her. "That's amazing."

"Yeah, it is isn't it? We really are doing this, aren't we?" she asked him.

"We sure are."

So, here she was now trying to push out of her body the thing that was making those movements all those months ago, and boy did it hurt! She kept breathing as the contractions kept getting closer and closer. Her mother had come in to help her with the delivery. Through the agony, she kept repeating the mantra of "I can do this" to herself. Peeta hadn't left her side all the hours she had been in labor. Her mother told her she was getting close and that she would need to push soon.

As the fear began to rise in her, she again took her lesson to heart and began to ponder on those thoughts that brought her peace through the emotional turmoil. She was calm and steady as her mother looked her over and said it was time.

"OK, Katniss, I want you to push down hard," she instructed. Katniss complied, trying to bear down as much as she possibly could. She felt like something was ripping through her body. She counted to ten, and then eased up to breathe a little.

"I think one more time will do it," her mother said, "come on." Katniss rose up and pushed again, and just when she didn't think she could give more, all of the sudden she felt something release from her body. She lay back down, and after a few seconds a new sound entered the room. The baby's cry was loud and insistent, but to Katniss it was relief itself to hear and know that her child was finally in the world.

Her mother let Peeta cut the cord, then took the bundle over to another area of the room to clean it up. When she returned, she had the baby wrapped up and handed it over to Katniss.

"It's a girl," her mother smiled, "Congratulations. I'm so proud of you"

Katniss took the bundle and looked down at her daughter. Dark tuffs of hair were immediately evident, but she was rewarded even more as the baby for just a moment opened her eyes. It wasn't long, but it was enough for Katniss to see that they were of a deep blue color she knew all too well.

She looked at her husband. "Peeta, she has your eyes!" she told him.

"And your hair, I see. She beautiful and amazing, just like her mother," he gushed and continued to admire the tiny infant as he sat down beside Katniss on the bed. In this moment, she felt something that was almost a new emotion to her. Calm, peace, happiness, contentment, elation, love, and hope all rolled into one. There was only one word she could use to express it. With that word she also found it would be perfect for another reason.

"You know, we didn't choose a name before now," she mentioned to Peeta.

"Yeah, I guess we should talk about it. Do you have any thoughts?"

"I do. I was wondering if we could name her Joy." She stopped there to see how her husband took her suggestion. After a moment of contemplation,she saw his face light up. He replied, "Joy Mellark. I think it is the perfect name for her." With the decision made, the two once again took in the peace of being together, holding their newborn daughter in their arms and basking in the first moments as a family of three.


	6. Reassurance

**A story about Gale's return and dealing with the emotions that come with it. ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games characters**

**REASSURANCE**

"I got a letter from Gale today," Katniss sleepily said to him as he was about to drift off. Peeta's eyes immediately flew open at this statement. He looked down at her in his arms as she continued, "He is coming to visit District 12 next week, and he wants to see us."

Peeta, now awake, thought about this. Gale was coming to visit, and was going to see Katniss for the first time, in what…twenty years? He knew there had been letters exchanged throughout the years, ever since Katniss wrote to him to tell Gale she forgiven him, but they had never actually seen each other since each had left the Capital all those years ago. Now he would be here in the flesh, and Peeta had to admit, this made him nervous. He also knew it must make Katniss nervous, as she put off telling him until now right before bed. Peeta tried to push the racing thoughts in his mind away, deciding that talking about it with her tomorrow was a better plan, and obviously what she had intended.

"Ok, Katniss, thanks for letting me know. We can discuss it tomorrow," he replied and she once again laid her head against his chest as she had for so many years now, and was quickly asleep. Peeta was not as lucky as his mind continued to think on the subject. He was tense, but tried to stay still so as not to wake his wife.

Gale. The one name and person who could bring fear in his thoughts even now. Over the years, he had always wondered what would have happened if Gale had come back to District 12 instead of going to 2. Would things have ended up the same? The idea that he had won her by default always had bothered him, but he was just so happy to have her, that he let it go. With Gale here, though, his presence brought all the fear he had pushed aside back to the forefront. The more Peeta let his mind wonder on it, the more uncomfortable he felt. So at 3:00 in the morning, he finally decided he would have to talk to Katniss about it at some point. With that decision, he finally tried to get a little sleep.

When he went down for breakfast, Peeta smiled at finding his wife flipping pancakes with their five year old daughter, while their 2 and ½ year old son had some toys over on the other side of the room. It was one of those non rushed mornings he so loved on the weekends when he didn't have to work. He picked Matthew up, carried him over to where the girls were, and kissed them all good morning. They all sat down and began to eat.

"Did you sleep alright last night?" Katniss asked.

"Not much. I had a lot on my mind," he always was honest with her.

She looked concerned as she asked, "Are you feeling okay? Anything you need to talk about?"

"Well, yes, I think we do need to talk. The kids are going over to visit Haymitch today anyways, so we can do it then.

The rest of the day went quickly as they just spent time together as a family. Joy painted with Peeta in his studio, and later they all went for a walk in the woods. On the way back, the adults left their children for their weekly time with "Uncle" Haymitch. He was worked on his drinking since the kids had been born, and was truly doing better. Katniss and Peeta headed home and finally sat down with some tea. He had to admit he was ready to get his thoughts out.

"Katniss, there is something I've been wanting to know," he started.

"And what's that?" she was definitely curious as to what had been on his mind.

"Why did you choose me?" he asked almost in a whisper as he was not sure what he was going to hear.

She now had a look of confusion, "What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, I came back, and Gale didn't, so I have always wondered if you stayed with me because I was here and he wasn't. If he had come back, what would you have done? Would you still have picked me? I think the door was never truly closed there, and I am just nervous with him coming back as to how it will affect you…affect us," and he let out a breath as all he had inside came out.

Her reaction was one of pure shock. "Peeta! I can't believe that you just said all that. After being married for twenty years and not one, but two children, you still think that I might have feeling for Gale? You would doubt that I truly love you and chose you?"

He looked sheepish as she spoke. He should have realized it made it looked like he doubted her. He didn't doubt her feelings for him, so he continued. "I just was never sure if you chose me simply because I was the one close by."

That must have not helped, because she looked at him in frustration, then after a moment, her look became calm and she asked him, "Did I ever tell you why the night we came together happened on that particular night?"

His mind went back to the night she was referencing. They had been growing closer together for a few months, but on this night, they consummated that blooming relationship, and Katniss for the first time told him that she loved him. It was one of the most amazing nights ever in his life, and he remembered that it was Katniss who initiated all that had happened. Afterwards, since he was backing in the glow of being together with her, he had failed to ask her why she had done it.

"No, you never did tell me. What happened?" He was anxious, yet wanting to hear her answer.

"Before we made love, I had a realization of sorts. Yes, I know that I had been struggling to figure out my feelings for you and Gale, but that night, I knew that what I needed was you, not him. I chose you because I could not survive without you. You brought me back to life by coming back, and only the hope and love you give me could have done that. Gale is full of fire, just like me, and I knew that is not what I needed. He was a good friend, but only you could inspire the hunger that made me want more, so much more, and over these years together you have given that to me. I chose you Peeta because I knew that I realized that I was in love with you! Get that into your thick skull and get out that jealousy that somehow has remained all this time." She scowled at him, followed by her taking his face in her hands and kissing him passionately. He reacted to her and they spent the next moments lost in each other.

Peeta had heard everything she had said and was sideswiped by her story. He had never known this and was amazed by her declaration. "Katniss, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let this get the best of me. I never would have thought that I would still be jealous of Gale after all this time. I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I was, though. I know that you love me. I am sorry."

They were sitting on the couch, and Katniss moved to sit in his lap and rest her head on his shoulder. "It's alright," she smiled, "just don't do it again!" Peeta felt his own smile come over him as he relaxed into her.

The visit was scheduled to happen two Saturdays from that day. Peeta kept busy between work and his children, so much so that there was no time to even feel the nerves he did that first night. Before he knew it, though, the day for Gale to arrive had come. They spent the morning picking up and cleaning around the house. Katniss could see that he was tense, and every once in a while would tell him, "It's going to be okay."

At 5:00 sharp, there was a knock at their door. The kids, as usual, ran ahead to answer it. When the door was opened, the family was surprised to see not only one person, but five. Gale was standing there, at once recognizable, although older. He was most definitely not alone. With him were a petite, yet beautiful, blonde woman, and three children. The oldest was a boy who looked like a carbon copy of his father, and a girl around Joy's age, who looked to be a miniature of her mother and was hiding behind Gale's leg. There also was a baby who seemed to be a few months old. Peeta was shocked, not to see that Gale had a family (Katniss had told him this from the letters she received), but that they had come with him. He had been under the impression that Gale would be alone on this visit, and looking at his wife, Peeta knew that this is what she had thought, as well.

There was silence for a moment or two which was finally broken by the hunter. "Hello Catnip. I've made it."

"And brought your family, I see," she replied, "Why don't you introduce everyone?"

Gale introduced his wife, Lydia, and his children, followed by Peeta and Katniss having them meet Joy and Matthew. They decided to eat dinner first, and the conversation flowed with small talk about life in their two districts, and discussion of people each couple knew, past and present. Afterwards, the kids were then told to go and play together, which they did happily, seemingly to get along in no time. A playpen was found for the baby to play in and the adults finally settled in to talk.

"Peeta, if it's okay with you, I'd like to take a walk with Katniss to talk alone. I have some things I need to say to her," the older male asked. Peeta could feel himself tense, but remembered the conversation of the previous week and what Katniss had told him. He knew that he could trust her completely, so he told them to go with his blessing. The two old Seam friends found their jackets and walked out, leaving Peeta with Lydia. He didn't know her, and wondered what he could talk about with her in conversation.

"You don't have to worry, they won't run off together," she said and he could hear the almost teasing in her voice. He was surprised by her statement. It was almost if she could read his mind.

"I know. How did you know what I was thinking?" He was curious as to how she seem to read him so well.

"I could see how tense you were, and I recognized that look from somewhere else," she told him.

"And where was that?"

"On myself, for the first couple of years Gale and I were married. He would talk about Katniss constantly. So much so that it drove me up a wall. I thought for the longest time that I could never compete. Then I made a decision that changed everything."

He was totally absorbed now. "And what did you decide?"

"That I wasn't going to compete. Gale had his past with Katniss, and that was what it was…the past. I was there, and I was his present, and hopefully, his future. It wasn't right for me to compete with the past. I decided I had to be myself and let Gale love me for who I was. Once I did that, I stopped worrying and our relationship got even better. I am secure in what we have so I don't worry about Katniss anymore. That's how I knew I could come here and be alright."

Peeta took all of this in, and realized Lydia had a point. Gale was Katniss' past, and he was who she had now and for the future. The years of their marriage and the children they had together only strengthened the bond they shared. Wasn't that what Katniss had been trying to tell him the other night? The thought strengthened him and brought his spirits back. He smiled at Lydia and began to clean up form dinner with her help. She then said she should check on the children, so she left to go find him leaving Peeta alone. He decided to use the time to go out to the garden. He needed to check on the Primrose bushes.

He was looking at them and watering when a voice interrupted him. "I would have never thought to plant those for her." Peeta turned and saw the shadowy figure of Gale standing before him.

"When I came back, it was the only thing I could think of to do to show that I cared and was sorry that it had happened to her" he replied while he continued to work on the bushes.

"It was the right thing to do. I'm sorry you had to be the one to clean up the mess I left Katniss in by what I did." Gale said with eyes lowered, the guilt written on his face.

Peeta sighed, "It worked out. We healed together and it brought us closer in the end."

"I always knew it was going to be you. Even before we went into the capitol" Gale replied with authority. "Like I said that night in Tigris' basement, she never kissed me like she did you. Katniss and I are so alike, which is how I know how she operates in her thinking. She may not have understood, but I did that you were the one who made her feel loved the way she needed. I can see now that she was right. She is not just having a life, but living. You gave her that."

"Thank you, Gale. All I have ever wanted was to love her and make her happy. She doesn't make it easy some days!" Peeta said laughing a little.

"Don't I know it, but from what I see in Katniss, you've done pretty well for yourself," and with that the two went back inside to join the women. It was getting late, and it was time to get the children to bed. Sleepy kids were gathered, and as the Hawthorne family started to walk out the door, Katniss gave Lydia a hung. She followed this with a hug her old friend, saying "Take care of yourself."

Peeta also hugged Lydia and shook Gale's hand. They turned and left, and the Mellark's closed their door and let out their breaths at finally being alone again. The couple quickly bathed and got the children to bed, desperately wanting to get together and talk. When goodnights were said, both trudged in exhaustion to their bedroom, finding each other and arms immediately going around in an embrace.

"I think it went well," Peeta started, "don't you?"

"Yes, it did. I had no idea we would meet his family, but they were wonderful," Katniss noted. "It was funny, in talking with Lydia, she most definitely reminded me of someone."

"Who is that?" Peeta asked with his eyebrow raised.

Katniss couldn't help but laugh, "You! She reminded me of you with her sweet, calm, and considerate nature. She just had that easy way about her that is like you. Since Gale is like me, I guess it makes sense if you think about it."

Peeta had to smile at the thought with her, "Yeah, it does. Did your talk with Gale go well?"

"Yeah, it did. We got a lot out into the open. We had already discussed some of it in our letters, but it was good to actually talk about it in person. I told him he doesn't need to feel guilty anymore. I have forgiven him. Prim would not want him to feel that way." Katniss recounted.

"I'm glad you were able to get it out. I also got to talk to Gale." Peeta continued the conversation.

"Oh, you did? That must have been interesting." Katniss smirked.

"It was. He told me that he knew you would ultimately choose me, and that we have done pretty well for ourselves. He's glad that you are happy. I think that is all he really wanted, and knew that I was the one to do that. He said I've done pretty well for myself." He said with a teasing air of confidence.

Katniss caught on to his mood. "Yeah, I guess you've done alright," she joked and then continued, "Actually, you have been amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better life than what I have right now."

"Me either," Peeta replied, giving her a loving kiss. Soon after sleep was calling and they got ready for bed. Later, as they lay in bed with arms and legs entangled, Peeta looked at his sleeping wife. He would never doubt her love ever again. If this visit had proven anything, it was that it was always meant to be this way. With his children sleeping in the next rooms and Katniss here so peaceful in his arms, he thought that things were not just good, but that his life was pretty much perfect.


	7. The Beauty That Remains

**A songfic story reflecting the Epilogue of Mockingjay, based on a few lines from the song Love Is by Vanessa Williams and Brian McKnight. ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games nor the song Love Is**

**The Beauty That Remains**

_Love takes the tears and the pain_

_And it turns it in to the beauty that remains_

_-From Love Is by Brian McKnight and Vanessa Williams_

Katniss had known her share of tears and pain.

The loss of her father in the mining accident was the first time. Her tears had flowed heavily then. It was easier at that point to let her emotions show. But, reality soon hit as her mother was lost in her own depression and her little sister was becoming skin and bones. Katniss had to force her own pain deep down and start doing something. Receiving the bread gave her the little bit of hope she needed to begin. She began to provide for her family. Over time, she became good at hunting, and at keeping her feelings at bay, whatever they may be.

But that didn't mean pain still didn't come. Her entry into the Games, seeing all the death, especially Rue's, was almost worse than any of the physical pain Katniss received. The experience created nightmares inside her that plagued her sleep. Then, when she got home, having her loved ones threatened, being forced into an engagement, Gale being whipped, made the stress almost unbearable. Peeta was the only one that could help her find any peace in all the chaos. Things only intensified as she found out that she would have to enter the arena again. More deaths, and more pain from having a tracker ripped out of her arm and force fields exploding. Once more she woke up in a hospital room.

Then, there was the pain of being in District 13. Her home had been destroyed, and Peeta wasn't there with her. He was in the Capitol being tortured for no other reason than to break her. It almost did. Only the fire and rage kept Katniss going, even when he was returned to her broken and damaged. There was so much pain then that she in turn made herself feel nothing. In essence, Katniss shut her emotions down and pushed them away to get the job done. Even as Boggs, Finnick, and the other members of the squad perished in the attack, she kept thinking that somehow it had to be over soon.

But finally, the worst came with the bombs, and the loss of her sister finally did what the rest had not done. The pain finally won. Katniss wanted to kill herself to get away from it all, only to be stopped by Peeta. A trial was held which found her insane in her actions. Maybe she was, who knows? She was taken home, and finally let the tears and grief overtake her. Sitting in her rocking chair in front of the fire, she didn't want company, or food, or anything. After all, what was really left for her? Everything seemed to be lost to her, even Gale.

And then he returned. Peeta came back and planted the primroses for her sister. It was such a small gesture, but it meant everything. From that moment, the light inside her was started again. Slowly, she began to live again. He loved her still, after everything, and the day she realized she loved him in return was the day she stopped thinking about all that she had lost, and began to think about what remained.

What remained was a country, now free from oppression and the deaths of twenty three children every year. The leadership of Paylor had been everything and more than Katniss could have ever asked for. New laws were carefully considered and enforced, and each district in the entire nation had flourished in the new system. People all over had enough food to eat, and children were being born and growing up without fear.

What remained was her home, still surviving after all of the destruction. The love her people had for their district driving them to return and rebuild. The population was nowhere near where it was before, but it was a solid community that cared about each other. Thom and Delly had both returned, and were now married and had three beautiful children. Greasy Sae continued to stop by their house now and then with her granddaughter, some stew, and her wisdom. Haymitch was still there, as well, raising his geese and drinking. They would invite him to dinner as often as they could manage to sober him up, trying to make sure he ate. Each time their old mentor would leave, though, he would touch their cheeks, letting them know his appreciation.

What remained was the book, created by them to remember all the loved ones that had been lost. They had painstakenly worked on the words and pictures together. Stories were told and memories resurfaced. It was a reminder to them each time they looked through it that they had to live well the life that they had been given by those who had sacrificed.

What remained was her Mother, living and healing in District 4. Not only others, but herself, as well. Slowly, they have reconnected their once lost relationship. After they grieved together over Prim's death, her mother really tried her hardest to not lose touch again. They talked, and Katniss would go to visit her a few times a year. It wasn't the best, but it was something, and they continued to work on it.

What remained was a marriage, begun a couple of years after his return. The love that started to change her from that moment continued to grow until neither one knew where one began nor the other ended. She had never known that it could be this way with someone, but the love for Peeta that she so tentatively let in one night was stronger now even years later. His love for her had held Katniss up through it all, good and bad.

Now, here she stood in the Meadow, where the grass had begun to grow again over the graves of so many. Katniss was watching something else that remained: a boy and a girl dancing around, chasing birds and picking the first dandelions of the spring. Her children, conceived in love after so many years of fear. They were such perfect combinations of the two of them. The girl had her dark hair and the sparkling blue eyes of her father, and the boy with his blonde curls and misty grey orbs that matched her own. These two had brought the greatest joy into her and Peeta's life, another symbol of how that love could turn around all the pain and tears. These little miracles stop for a moment to smile at their mother, then continue about their game.

Katniss suddenly feels strong arms surround her, the smell of bread as familiar to her as any other fills her senses and she smiles. She immediately relaxes as the comfort only he provides does, and always has for these many years now. She doesn't look at him, but continues to watch the children.

"Look at them," Peeta finally comments, "playing as if they don't have a care in the world."

"I hope they stay that way," she responds wistfully.

"They will have to learn someday all that happened to give them this life." he says. "We can't hide it forever. They will ask questions at some point."

"She already has," Katniss replies. "The other day she said that her teacher mentioned something called The Hunger Games and told her to ask us about it. I didn't know what to tell her."

Peeta gives her a soft hug to soothe her fears. "It will be okay. We'll figure it out together. We have the book, and we have each other. Somehow, we'll find the words to explain it to her and to him when the time comes. Right now, let them just enjoy the moment."

She knows that he is right, and returns to watching the girl and boy happily dance. Katniss soaks in the feeling it gives her watching them be so free. Peeta continues to hold her, and as he places a dandelion in her hair, Katniss once more feels that continuing gift he has always given her…hope.

She had fought so hard for so long, and this is what remained. Love had turned everything around into this life she had now.

And what remained was beautiful.

_**THE END**_

**Thank you all for reading! I hope you liked it. Please please review and let me know your thoughts on this one! Lots of love!**


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